Men, especially gay men, like string quartets, often take themselves too seriously. Frequently the angst of the teen years experienced by both straight and gay kids seems to go on longer for the homosexual minority. There is likely good reason for this, nonetheless I sometimes feel the need to say… “Will you lighten up!!!”
Openly Bob is a series of essays by Bob Smith, a gay stand-up comic of some renown. The tone of this volume expresses perfectly my somewhat closeted thoughts about many gay folks I know. The subjects of his comments are varied, some serious, some nostalgic, none totally silly.
Bob opens his book with a narrative…the adult child returning home for Thanksgiving with his partner. What is significant is that the essay could have been written with minimal editing if his partner had been a girlfriend. It spoke of the mixed emotions we’ve all shared, of ritual conversations (we’re all familiar with those), of the ambivalence at visiting old haunts. His portrayal of these events expresses neither gay nor straight sensibility. What comes across is directly voiced humanity.
The chapters which follow each stand independently and could easily be read out of sequence. They are tied together by the narrator’s lucid world perception and by the background presence of his partner. Once the reader meets Bob and Tom and accompanies them on a holiday visit they seem to become close acquaintances if not friends.
There is a gentleness to the humor, and a warmth of expression which makes later discussion of his joint partner counseling very jarring. Not all the subjects, as noted, are light and carefree. Yet even in these passages the style evokes a sense of reason and a kind of confidence that all will be well.
There is little in this book to teach, yet the very ordinariness of the settings and events show us that we all share and essential human nature. It is especially pleasant that a gay comic can treat a wide variety of subjects, some serious, with humor. Bob Smith can been heard throughout the book exhorting us all… “Will you lighten up!!!”
This book will not likely be included in any list of “The 10 Most Important Books in a Gay Man’s Library.” It is a book I’m glad I bought and one which I no doubt will loan to both straight and gay friends. It is not an “important” book but is certainly one that will be read.