Farm Boys, I was convinced, was the book I had been waiting for. When my book club listed it as a possibility, I begged and pleaded for it. I thought that I would finally read something that validated my own upbringing by presenting me with stories that were just like mine. In the end, I discovered that growing up on a farm is a complicated thing, like everything gay (or human, for that matter).
This book presents narratives composed from interviews and letters of 37 midwestern gay men whose upbringing was on a farm. Developing this field of candidates required advertising in more than two dozen midwestern publications. Regrettably, this favored men who had migrated to the cities. However, this did not shed unnecessarily negative light on farming.
The men are presented in order of age. They are further grouped into 3 sections, depending on when the men came of age (doing the math, Fellows considers coming of age to occur at 17). I agreed with the author that as time goes on gay men come out earlier and are less likely to marry. However, I sensed from each narrative that the farm upbringing was like being trapped in a time warp; that is, the narratives didn’t necessarily support the author’s point. Alas, the major sections of the book were blurry boundaries.
The writing throughout is strictly that of Will Fellows. This is both good and bad. It is good because it allows inclusion of stories from men who may otherwise be incapable of expressing themselves in writing. Having a common author gives a readable continuity to the book. It is bad, however, because it is error prone and some of the nuance of the speaker is being passed through an interpreter and possibly lost. Fellows was aware of both. He sent a draft form of each person’s narrative to him, permitting and encouraging any corrections, strikes, and addendums. Further, he was careful to use the language of the speaker in the narrative. Thus, each narrative becomes unique. For example, some narratives say “sex-play,” others, “sex,” and others, “making love.”
The stories are fascinating. I was astounded by the degree of bestiality that occurs on farms, and the comfort with which some men spoke of it. Incest between brothers also runs rampant, although that spoke more to the transient homosexual nature of boys in big families having to share a bed while growing up.
The relationship between parents and son was one of the most common themes among the narratives. For the most part, farm parents didn’t want to talk homosexuality. But all things are relative, and one account of a lad being tied to a barn, beaten, and left out all night, just for wanting to go to college, was chilling.
Aside from the surprising and sad aspects, much of the experience of growing up on a farm was very familiar. The year round chores, the early waking, the love of countryside, the love of being alone, the love of being able to hear yourself think—these were the things that made farming miserable and wonderful all at once.
In all, Farm Boys is worth a look. Chances are, your farm-boy fantasy will undergo revision. Better or worse? Hmmm...