The CGM book club decided to close the 2007 year on a whimper. Only 2 of us actually started the book and only 1 of us finished it. Unfortunately, I was not the one who finished it, but I got through enough of it to tell you about it.
The premise of Andrew Gottlieb’s Out of the Twilight is fine. He wants to fill a gap in the study of the gay coming-out process, that of the role the father plays. He’s also thorough, covering all the stages of being a father in this. Thus, he asks each father what his dreams for the son were at birth, whether there was any inkling of the coming disclosure, how he reacted to the disclosure, and how having a gay son has affected his life. Finally, Gottlieb is passionate about his subject, spending way too much time proving that moms and sons already have plenty of coverage in books.
I’m not fond of the scientific method, but I understand its importance and do not mind the almost endless references to other works and studies. However, Gottlieb chooses to call all his references by their last name only. Whereas this doesn’t bother me when the name is Freud, it’s more than a little annoying for everyone else.
The most readable section of the book is in the center, the stories of each of the 12 fathers. Each is a few pages long, but each suffers terribly from Gottlieb’s telling of it. My CGM colleague (the one who finished the book) recalled that in Marcel Lebrun’s book Reflections on Still Waters, the stories were written in the voice of the subject. Whereas I criticized Marcel for not allowing his subjects to proofread the stories (I was one of them), at least each story was compelling in ways you didn’t expect; you could actually hear the subject’s voice. Here, the stories are flat, which is a shame because each of these fathers has a remarkable story to tell.
Gottlieb limits himself to 12 subjects and notes that there was no need for more as no new information was emerging. Unfortunately, this is because his sample includes only fathers who were willing to be subjects. The stories of fathers who are much more rejecting of their son’s homosexuality were absent. Gottlieb recognizes this limitation but cannot overcome it.
This book didn’t do much for me, although if my own father’s story had been included, I’d have been very excited to read it. Fathers might like this book if they’re struggling with their son’s disclosure, but if they were to ask me I’d steer them towards the internet instead. There’s much more information there, and it’s easier to read!